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About Taipei

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I decide to wander around instead. I hit up the Banqiao Night Market. It’s packed! I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to spill my drink. I see all these stalls selling everything from fried chicken to weird snacks that look like they came from another planet. I’m tempted to try the stinky tofu, but nah, I’m not that brave today.

New Taipei announces plans for 2nd major public library